I won my Fantasy Football league this year. I was afraid to talk about it all season because the one time I did, I went on a losing streak. So now I want to retire...
I'm afraid to calculate my career winnings and losses to see if I am actually making a profit after all these years because I feel like I've lost more than I've won.
The best part about winning is knowing that all those stupid moves and pickups you made all worked out...even though they were really stupid. I'm mostly thankful that I didn't get screwed for benching Tom Brady (13.14 pts) for Big Ben (4.5 pts) in my final game.
Toy Story 2
Even though X-Mas is over, the kids were still asking for more gifts.
I felt sorry for them when they opened up wrapped boxes of clothes.
"I want another one. I want something I could play with."
"OK! You're the garbage collector. Go throw out all the wrapping paper."
Whenever I mark an inappropriate comment as spam, I feel like I did something positive to validate my existence. I feel like an internet crime fighter.
A Repeat Awakens.
I finally saw the new Star Wars. If you seen one, you've seen them all.
But really, if you've seen the first one from 1977 then you've already seen the new one. It seriously should be renamed, "The Forge Awakens." They even rip off the Beastie Boys flute loop.
Dinner and a Movie.
Now I realize why "Dinner" is first.
We did "Movie" first and when we got out (11pm) all the kitchens were closed.
James Bland.
The new Bond movie, Spectre, was such a snooze. It's the perfect movie to fall asleep to on an airplane. Just make sure you don't wake up to the horrible sound of Sam Smith singing the theme song. I saw it for free...but I still want my money back!
when someone mutes your computer/tv and the next time you go to adjust the volume it's at full blast...and it scares the poop out of you.
Closer...
Whenever I see Wifi wearing her "fitbit" (exercise bracelet) around her ankles, I feel like her probation officer.
May you all find happiness (or a penis) in 2016!
Chink Links
Chew Girls December 2015 Pics