Before going to a concert I first check to see who the opening bands are, get the most recent setlist and then try to brainwash myself into liking the songs so that I can sing along and have a better time at the concert. Crazy or genius?...crazy.
Suck It, Siri!
That Siri biatch is so useless but I can't help myself sometimes.
Talking about Siri as if she is a cheap whore makes me feel better.
I take out my Siri frustrations by telling her off but it backfires because she ends up trying to send an email to one of my contacts.
Fobio
Wifi landed a role as a Chinese salon worker in a new movie called, "Kid Witness." I told her she should thank her hairdresser for giving her a "fresh of the boat" haircut.
Kid Sickness
Whenever Toddler skips school (pre-K) due to sickness I just imagine flushing money down the toilet for the day considering her tuition is equivalent to my college tuition (SUNY Binghamton).
Whenever I tell people how much we pay for school, I feel like should preface it with the statement, "It's my wife's idea...and my wife's money."
Macho Grande.
Whenever I hear Ariana Grande's name, I want Mexican food because Grande is usually preceded by Nachos, Tacos, Burritos, etc...
Talking about Grande:
when dumb people react seriously to fake headlines on fecesbook. Look at the source, you idiots!
Closer...
whenever a friend of mine flakes out on guy plans I tell Wifi, "He lost his balls when he got married."
It seems like most of my friends have vaginas now.
Chink Links
The Chew Girls September Pics