Instead of asking for an autograph (because I was trying to act like a respectful grown man), I just took photobombing selfies (Is that a thing I just invented?)
Oddly enough, I got a sunburn on the only places where I put sunblock on. I usually don't use sunblock but I was hanging out with a white dude who scared me into it.
"I Love Gold"
My kids like to peel my dead skin from my shoulders...almost as much as I do because it makes me feel like Mike Myers in "Austin Powers: Goldmember"
Warm Water Trick.
The beach was fun but it was weird jumping into ocean water that was about 90 degrees. I was honestly on the lookout for "Jaws."
Coneheads.
We got to meet/stalk David Cone and I forced my way into the same elevator as him. Unfortunately, we only went up one floor.
Every time I get a free airline ticket (bonus miles), my flight always gets majorly delayed (so it doesn't feel "free" anymore). I was originally set to leave for Tampa at 7:30pm but it ended up being 1:45am. I spent an extra 6 hours at LaGuardia. Needless to say, it was the best time of my life (Sarcasm 101). The perfect time to start reading "Game of Thrones."
When I finally got on the plane, I was happy because I got to watch Late Night with Seth Myers...until they interrupted me with their long boring extra loud announcements about air safety. I purposely ignored them and I got screwed when they made the announcement about how to connect to the free wifi. I had signal bars but no data and didn't realize that I had to go to a website to activate it.
To make up for it, Jetblue gave me $125 in credit...but then I found out the my wife just spent $125 on a cab ride back from Jersey. And I think they gave me a free bloody mary...or they forgot to charge me because I was sleeping?
On the flight back, we got to the airport but ended up sitting on plane for an hour to wait for a gate to open. And when it finally did, we had to get towed. What the heck is wrong with the airline industry? Why do they suck so bad?
Dumb Phone
When I got to Tampa, I had to pay $60 for a cab to the hotel because I don't have Uber (which only costs about $20).
when your kid has nightmares because the sound of the screaming cat outside (pregnant? dying? possessed?) is seeping into her dreams. Can you call 911 on a cat?
Closer...
After not seeing my kids for 1 week, they looked like giants when I came home...and now they speak more Chinese than I do.
Chink Links
The Chew Girls August Pics