My 7 year old has a nut allergy so I get to "save her life" by eating anything that may contain traces of nuts (Milky Way, Heath Bar, whatever else I want)
I eat all the candy with Spanish on it because they look conspicuous...because I can't read Spanish
I instructed my kids to skip all the Asian places because they give cheap Guava candy. Next year, I am adding bodegas and their cheap Spanish candy to the list.
I submitted a self taped audition for a Foot Locker commercial where I portrayed an annoyed TSA worker. It was easy but so far the video has no views. I was hoping my agent would at least watch it but I guess she has no need to.
Kevyn Diesel
My kid found some "Kevyn Aucoin" nail polish in the bathroom and asked if it was mine.
What You Talkin' About Willis?
My oldest kid keeps asking us for an older sibling
Flashback Friday: I Get a Little Bit Genghis Khan
When I got paid $50 to get photoshopped as a warrior for Jay Z's photographer.
when your kid tells you that the Red Sox are their backup team after the Yankees
Closer...
whenever I see my dentist, we talk fantasy football and like an Asian, he pronounces all the names wrong (Gurley=Gurney)
Chew Links
Tickets to my sketch comedy show, "Model Majority." 11/19 9:30 W36
Chew Girls October 2018 pics