I blew my cover when someone said they were six years old when they saw "The Sixth Sense," and I lost my shit.
I have a hard time understanding some of their slang and sometimes have to ask.
Rabbit Hole
My in-laws gave my kid the playboy bunny necklace she is wearing in the picture. I don't really approve of it but I don't want to explain why to the in-laws either.
Sucker Punch
I woke up one day and the side of my face hurt. I asked the kids if they punched me while I was asleep. I think it just might be a sinus infection.
After I get my haircut, I tell myself that I look like Clark Kent/Superman...Wifi says I look like Dilbert.
I like going to Chinatown for a $10 haircut so I can tip the guy $10 and feel like a baller.
I close my eyes and tell him to do whatever...so far, he has only given me a haircut.
Teeny Teen
My 7 year old promised me that she would never tell me she hates me. I told her she will when she's a teenager.
Chew Chu
I sent Jon M. Chu a direct message with the link to last week's chronicles so the ball is now in his court.
Subway After Dark
whenever I ride the subway after midnight, I try to look as crappy as possible so I could blend in with all the other crazies. I reveal my hat head and it makes me look "crazy"
when you finally give the school bus driver a gift and he starts to smile and wave back to you after two years
Closer...
whenever I am notified that a random stranger has "subscribed" or "followed" me, I get excited for two seconds before I realize that it's a fake account. And then I get mad and report it/block it.
Model Majority Live: 1/30 Wed 8pm 312 W36 NYC
Chew Links
Chew Girls December 2018