whenever I tell my wife I am getting a haircut, she gets more excited than I want her to be.
whenever I want to get my haircut, I imagine that scene from "Coming to America" where he cuts off his pony tail for $8 and I try to convince myself that I can do the same...to save $8.
I don't know when it will happen but I have a deep premonition that I will drop my ipod (smartphone with no phone) in the toilet. Maybe it's because I keep it right on top of the toilet (because that is when I play "Words with Friends").
Old School
My slidephone died so I have reverted back to my flip phone. I had to go through my kids toy chest to find it since I gave it to them because I never thought I would use it again. It feels nice to close a flip phone again.
Having a dumbphone makes me feel ironically elite.
I got a $6 milkshake from the ice cream truck (fake Mr. Softee) and it was way too thin (too much milk). As a former employee of Baskin Robbins, I wanted to scold the guy but the glutton in me drank it anyway. And now I have another reason to hate food from trucks.
Street Meat.
Whenever I think about getting street food, I always think about where and when they went to the bathroom and when they washed their hands...and then I skip it.
when your kid goes through the garbage and questions you about the candy wrappers she found
Closer...
whenever I see someone with a red hat I get nervous because I am afraid it might be a Trump hat
Chewtube
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