I've been cutting down on my fecesbook viewing and it feels so liberating...because everyone else seems less annoying and dumb trending things (like woman in Chewbacca mask) make me hate the internet.
The less I know, the smarter I feel.
Dog Ma.
Seeing Matthew McConaughey in car commercials should really be labeled as anti-drug Public Service Announcements instead. "Don't do acid or you will end up asking your dogs where you should eat dinner...all after winning an Oscar."
My doorbell only works if you push it down hard on the right side. I enjoy not having a working doorbell so I don't bother fixing it. I hate walking down 3 flights just to shut the door on people with clipboards...but I do hate missing packages when I am home all day...but I am happy if I missed them when I was napping with the kid.
The Fast Forward Method.
I've adopted my friend's technique of saving time and simply fast forwarding over all the boring parts of any movie/show/documentary. You eventually figure out what you missed and it feels satisfying knowing you saved yourself about 3 minutes of yapping.
Crossing the Streams
Technology has improved so much that I was able to erase all of the porn from my computer. No more secret folder code names like "Boring Work Stuff" or "Untitled Documents"
The Lawnmower Man
If I really had my way, I would disconnect my cellphone and just email as my only form of communication. Talking on the phone means I have to go to the bathroom and lock the door so no kids interrupt or hear me.
when you try to order food in the same accent as the waiter because you think he might understand you better.
Closer...
I love watching cooking shows except I hate the part when you can't eat the tv.
Chink Links
Chew Girls June 2016 pics
Feel Free to "Like" my "Secret Asian Man" FB page.
Thanks, it'll help spread the secretion!