I'm afraid to cough on the subway because I fear the crazy homeless guy who hasn't showered in a year and shits in his own pants might think I could get him sick and try to touch me.
Grand Theft Auto Style
A car alarm in Brooklyn is so useless. They all sound the same! I imagine shooting a rocket launcher at the car whenever one on my block goes off...and then the idiot on the motorcycle that set it off.
Watching Hunters is so intense that I can't sleep anymore...or maybe I have the coronavirus?
During this one scene, Al Pacino is opening his heart to his grandson and all I could think about is how that's my old office in the background! I made so many of my movies there...and now Al is following in my footsteps.
Grab Them By The...
My mom told me to get 14 days worth of food because the president Dump said so. She recommended I buy some ramen noodles to stay alive. Wifey went to Chinatown and got two days worth of dim sum and Chinese buns for our survival.
Bike Curious
I taught both my kids how to ride a bike and it feels like my life's greatest achievement. Thank you, Youtube.
when your soulmate tells you that they don't believe in soulmates.
Did I marry the wrong soul?
Closer...
I secretly memorize random trivia for that one day I play on JEOPARDY!
Chew Girls March 2020 Pics
Model Majority Tickets 3/7, 8pm PIT Striker