The next time you use someone else's computer, just remember that they probably watch porn on that same keyboard/mouse.
If being brown skinned and building an alarm clock can get you a trip to the White House, maybe terrorists should start learning how to build bombs with alarm clocks.
Limitless
I'm a sucker for collectibles. I have a Star Wars cereal box with Yoda and Vadar on it and it's marked "Limited Edition." That means I have to keep this box forever...just in case I end up being poor in 15 years and need to sell something for college tuition.
My neighbor had a fire in their backyard so I called 911. The lady who answered sounded like some old southern black lady with no sense of urgency whatsoever. I gave her all of my information and she transferred me to the fire department. By the time I got transferred, I could hear the fire engines coming already and I just wanted to hang up but then I was afraid it would be some sort of crime hanging up on the FDNY.
Is This You?
People who posts food recipes on fecesbook probably never cook...so they watch a video of someone else cooking it hoping someone else will make one for them.
when you don't friend request your in-laws
Closer...
whenever I go to the bathroom for a poop, I refer to it as a "colon cleanse" so it seems hip and trendy.
Chink Links
Chew Girls September pics